I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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