nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
God, I missed his penis.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
