I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
