shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
