he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
