I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
