Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My vagina is officially offended.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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