somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
