I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
