So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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