I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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