Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
