i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
