i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
