His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
