all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
