allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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