some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
