i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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