It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
