I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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