Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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