Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
