i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
