walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize