We're facebook friends in real life
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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