Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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