Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
