Just fell off a train. Bad.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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