As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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