the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
BRING THE BAGELS
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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