After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
