I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
