Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
