He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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