he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
