1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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