He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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