69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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