I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
