hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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