Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
