at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
