You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
