Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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