Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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