; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Someone came in the potted fern
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
