Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
