The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
