Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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