We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
