I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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