he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
