In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
