Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize