im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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