Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
