Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
