Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the day after is always just damage control
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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