It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
