i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize