I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
