Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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