I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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