so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
