Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
