"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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