Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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