Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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