did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
